


Choni Year's Eve

by azalben



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 00:31:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17234057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azalben/pseuds/azalben
Summary: It's New Year's Eve, and even with the town of Riverdale under quarantine, Cheryl Blossom is ready to throw her annual blow-out. But when she and Toni Topaz get stuck taking care of Polly Cooper's twin babies, things don't turn out quite the way they expected.





	Choni Year's Eve

 

**EXT. RIVERDALE - DAY**

We open on an aerial shot of Riverdale… The town looks normal, except for a few fires here and there. And if you look closely, a ring of barricades can be seen surrounding the outside of town. Moody music plays.

 

**JUGHEAD (V.O.)**

New Year’s Eve. A time for reflection.  Plans. Making changes. But for the town  of Riverdale, that change had already  begun.

 

A montage of scenes play under the voiceover… The barricades, manned by a police force carrying guns. Store owners on Main Street hurriedly closing their store fronts. HIRAM LODGE looking ominously out his office window.

 

**JUGHEAD (V.O.)**

The town was under quarantine, an excuse  a  _ villain _ had used to bring us all under  his heel. And with his iron fist, the dark  times had begun. The town with pep was now--

 

**CHERYL BLOSSOM (V.O.)**

Oh my god, drama much?

 

**JUGHEAD (V.O.)**

Wait, what are you--

 

**CHERYL (V.O.)**

Look, Bony Morrison, this isn’t even  your story, ‘kay? Why don’t you go  mope outside the town wall.

 

**JUGHEAD (V.O.)**

...How are you interrupting my internal  monologue.

 

**CHERYL (V.O.)**

Don’t you know?

  
  


**CUT TO: CU ON CHERYL BLOSSOM**

 

**CHERYL**

This year is  _ all _ about Cheryl. New  Year, new  _ sexy _ roommate...

 

POP! A champagne cork flies off the bottle, propelled by CHERYL’s finger. We pull out wider, and see that CHERYL is in her kitchen, pouring glasses of champagne for her and TONI TOPAZ.

 

**TONI**

Cherie, don’t you think a celebration  might be  _ slightly _ in poor taste.

 

**CHERYL**

The rest of the town can play  _ Outbreak _ .  I’m not skipping my annual New Year’s  blowout for any reason. There’s going  to be fireworks, and--

 

The doorbell rings. CHERYL rolls her eyes, takes a sip of the champagne.

 

**CHERYL (Cont’d)**

Uh, what now.

  
  


**CUT TO: THORNHILL, FRONT DOOR**

 

CHERYL swings the door open, and finds BETTY COOPER standing there.

 

**CHERYL (Cont’d)**

Cousin! To what do I owe the pleasure.

 

**BETTY**

Cheryl… I’m sorry, but I need your help.

 

**CHERYL**

Come in, come in. TT and I were just engaging  in a pre-New Year’s toast, care to join?

 

BETTY enters the door, but doesn’t come any farther.

 

**BETTY**

I’d love to, but I have bigger problems  to deal with… I think we’ve figured out  a way in and out of Riverdale.

 

**CHERYL**

Oh, B. Coops… Is my little Bug missing  her head?

 

**BETTY**

It’s more than that, Cheryl… Jughead  is outside, but so is a world who needs  info about what’s going on here.

 

**CHERYL**

So what are we waiting for? I’ll grab  my catsuit and let’s get to it.

 

**BETTY**

...Actually…

 

ALICE COOPER enters, pushing a double-wide stroller.

 

**ALICE**

Can they take them for a bit?

 

**CHERYL**

...what are those… Small humans doing  here?

 

**ALICE**

You didn’t tell her?

 

**BETTY**

I was getting around to it… Mom.  Cheryl, The Farm has some knowledge  about the tunnels under town, and  can get us in and out. But someone  has to watch Juniper and Dagwood in  the meantime.

 

**CHERYL**

Mmm… No thank you. I’ll do a little  Nancy Drew now and again, but I draw  the line at Babysitter’s Club.

 

**TONI (O.S.)**

We’d be happy to help, Betty.

 

CHERYL spins around and watches as TONI comes over, grabs the stroller and glares at CHERYL, wheeling the twins into the house.

 

**TONI**

Times are tough, we can watch them for  a few hours.

 

**CHERYL (To Betty)**

I have oysters and champagne… Do they eat that?

 

**TONI**

(Placing her hand gently on  CHERYL’s shoulder)

We’ve got this, Betty. Good luck.

 

BETTY nods, and she and ALICE exit out the door. CHERYL stands in shocked silence for a moment, before turning to TONI. CHERYL crosses her arms, annoyed.

 

**CHERYL**

Well. A Serpent in more than name alone.

 

**TONI**

Come on, it’ll be fun.

(She turns to make goo-goo eyes  at the twins.)

Look, they’re adorable.

 

CHERYL seems unconvinced, but comes over and glances into the stroller.

 

**CHERYL**

Well… They’re not, not adorable.  But I’m not letting Betty’s Mommie  Dearest turn me into… Mommie Dearest.

 

**TONI**

...Because she has twins in the--

 

**CHERYL**

Don’t clarify my references, TT.  Besides, we need to get ready for  tonight. It’s going to be  _ epic _ .

 

**TONI**

Cheryl, I don’t want you getting  your hopes up, the town is a little  bit preoccupied.

(Pause)

...Cheryl?

 

CHERYL is checking her phone, distressed.

 

**CHERYL**

Oh Toni, there’s a bit of a… Situation  at La Bonne Nuit. Think you can be a  dear and handle the twins solo until  I help Veronica out of her mess?

 

**TONI**

(Sighs) Yeah. Go.

 

CHERYL kisses Toni, and lightly brushes her hand across her cheek.

 

**CHERYL**

Thanks, babe. Be back in a jiff.

 

CHERYL runs out. We can hear a door slam. TONI sighs again, and looks at the twins.

 

**TONI**

... _ Do _ you guys eat oysters?

  
  


**TITLE CARD: “Two Hours Later”**

 

TONI is sitting on the floor of the living room at Thornhill, shaking a rattle at the babies, who are rolling around on the floor.

 

**TONI (Cont’d)**

All I’m saying is, don’t release the  stills if the scenes are cut from  the episode, you know?

 

Door slam sound, CHERYL walks in looking  _ stressed _ .

 

**CHERYL**

Well that was a  _ thing _ .

 

**TONI**

What happened?

 

**CHERYL**

Poisoned mocktails, a vicious plot  by a rival gang to steal Veronica’s  businesses... What  _ didn’t  _ happen.

 

**TONI**

At least you’re back now. The twins  have been doing this adorable trick  where they roll over, and I’m hoping  they show me how to do it, because  you’re not even listening to me.

 

**CHERYL**

(Texting while talking)

It’s Kevin, seems like Reggie is  being held hostage? Because he  found out about a new drug called…  Twibblers? I can’t tell if that’s  autocorrect or not.

 

**TONI**

...And you need to go help them.

 

**CHERYL**

(Pouting)

Could I? I hate to strand you with  these… Things, but--

 

**TONI**

Go. It’s fine, just go.

 

CHERYL blows TONI a kiss, and leaves. TONI sighs, turns back to the rattle shaking.

  
  


**TITLE CARD: “Three hours later”**

 

TONI is sitting on the couch with the babies snuggled up next to her. SHE holds up a remote and clicks off the TV.

 

**TONI**

Okay, I think that’s enough TV for now.

 

One of the babies cries.

 

**TONI (Cont’d)**

Kiddo, reduced screen time is just  something you’ll have to get used to.

 

CHERYL comes in, even more annoyed that before.

 

**CHERYL**

Turns out it  _ was _ Twibblers. It’s the  new thing after Jingle Jangle and  Fizzle Rocks, and it’s even more  addictive. How Reggie Mantle got  mixed up in it, god knows. The boy

is worse than Archie in the smarts  department.

 

**TONI**

Cheryl--

 

**CHERYL**

And now Josie is… I don’t know…  Holding a benefit concert for those  trapped outside the quarantine area?  And she needs a backup singer?

 

**TONI**

Cheryl--

 

**CHERYL**

Not that Cheryl Blossom sings anything  other than lead, but--

 

**TONI**

CHERYL. WHAT ARE YOU DOING.

 

CHERYL looks stunned.

 

**CHERYL**

...Why are you… Yelling at me?

 

**TONI**

BECAUSE YOU STARTED RUNNING AWAY  THE SECOND THESE BABIES CAME INTO  THE HOUSE.

 

**CHERYL**

...People… Needed me…

 

**TONI**

Cherry bomb, there’s always something  going on in this dumb town. Let them  deal with it on their own.

 

**CHERYL**

I just… I thought maybe if I cleared  everyone’s scheds, they’d be free  to come to my shindig tonight.

 

TONI stands up and walks over to CHERYL. She hugs her tight.

 

**TONI**

Cheryl… The only thing I need to make  New Year’s a celebration is you.

 

CHERYL pulls out of the hug. She appreciatively kisses TONI on the cheek.

 

**CHERYL**

Appreciate you, babe, but Josie’s  benefit isn’t going to sing itself.

 

CHERYL starts to walk out again.

 

**TONI**

Tell me what’s up. What’s  _ really _ up.

 

CHERYL doesn’t look at TONI.

 

**CHERYL**

I told you what it was, babe.

 

**TONI**

Cheryl, look at the babies.

  
  


SHE doesn’t.

 

**CHERYL**

What? They’re small, stinky humans.  I’ve seen it before.

 

**TONI**

Look at them.

 

**CHERYL**

It’s not--

 

**TONI**

Cheryl, look.

 

**CHERYL**

(Spins around, shouting)

I’m too young to have babies!

 

TONI blinks slowly, then walks over to CHERYL, who looks like she’s having a panic attack.

 

**TONI**

Babe…

 

**CHERYL**

I just… This is all so fast. I was  straight. And then I wasn’t. And then  there’s you, and you’re… Everything,  Toni. You’re simply my everything.  But we’re moving… (Whispered) So fast.

 

**TONI**

Cheryl, you asked me to move in with  _ you _ .

 

**CHERYL**

I was scared.

 

TONI looks hurt.

 

**CHERYL (Cont’d)**

No. TT. Please. I want to live with you.  But seeing you with those babies, it  felt like we’re moving so quick. There  are so many steps we missed. I want to be  with you forever. But one thing at a time.

 

TONI breathes deeply, then reaches over and gently takes CHERYL’s hands. SHE looks deep into HER eyes.

 

**TONI**

Cheryl Blossom…

 

**CHERYL**

Y-yes.

 

**TONI**

I love you.

 

**CHERYL**

Toni, I--

 

**TONI**

We’ve never said it before, did you  realize that? We’ve said everything  but. Used metaphors and quips and  said a million things that mean that  thing. And I  _ know _ … You know. But you’re  right, let’s stop skipping steps.

 

**CHERYL**

I love you, too. With every beat of my heart.

 

THEY kiss, long and deep, as all the light in the room seems to focus only on them.

 

One of the babies burps, loudly. TONI and CHERYL both laugh.

 

**TONI**

I don’t want babies either, Cheryl.  We’re in Junior Year of high school,  you dumb idiot.

 

CHERYL laughs.

 

**CHERYL**

Okay. Now, how do you… Do… This.

 

SHE gestures to the babies.

 

**TONI**

It’s really not that bad.

(She pulls CHERYL by the hand.)

I’ll show you.

  
  


**FADE TO: LATER THAT NIGHT**

 

ALICE is loading the babies into a carriage, while BETTY looks on.

 

**BETTY**

Thanks for watching them for so  long, it became a… Whole thing.

 

**TONI**

It’s fine. It always does.

 

**ALICE**

Come on,  _ Betty _ , we have to go or  I won’t get any representation for  my ship.

 

TONI and CHERYL look confused.

 

**BETTY**

She’s being sued after she crashed her  boat into the pier, and she needs a lawyer.

 

TONI and CHERYL nod knowingly. BETTY and ALICE leave. A moment, and then the two breath in unison, then laugh.

 

**CHERYL**

Well, that’s something I don’t  want to do any time soon.

 

**TONI**

I’m sorry you didn’t get your  perfect New Year’s.

 

**CHERYL**

Toni Topaz, the only fireworks  I need this year are the ones  you’re going to bring in my b edroom.

 

**TONI**

Cheryl Blossom! Don’t you think  we’re moving a little fast?

 

**CHERYL**

Let’s try both speeds, shall we?

 

TONI giggles, and CHERYL grabs her hand, leading her up the stairs. A moment passes, and then a dark head of hair pops up from behind the couch.

 

**SWEET PEA**

Wait, wasn’t this supposed to be  a surprise New Year’s party?

 

FANGS pops up next to SWEET PEA.

 

**FANGS**

Dude, I told you that wasn’t a thing.

 

**SWEET PEA**

Aw man. Come on everyone, let’s go home.

 

SWEET PEA and FANGS exit, followed by about thirty other Serpents.

  
  


**CUT TO: EXTERIOR THORNHILL**

 

Fireworks explode over the burnt-out top of the house, spelling out “THE END.”

**Author's Note:**

> All characters are copyright Archie Comics.
> 
> This script will not (and should not) be used for any financial gain of any sort, it’s all just in good fun.
> 
> Thanks to the person I couldn't find again on Twitter who suggested having Cheryl and Toni take care of the twins, which stuck in my head and then I ended up writing this.


End file.
